


The Ways We Fall in Love

by idontwanttheworld-iwantmalec (GoodFinderBadger)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Good Parent Maryse Lightwood, Good Parent Robert Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Taylor Swift, M/M, can't let this sit unread bc it's so enjoyable, doing every taylor song, will finish this before I die
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:35:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22457329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoodFinderBadger/pseuds/idontwanttheworld-iwantmalec
Summary: Alec Lightwood lives in a small town where nothing changes and nothing exciting happens, that is until Magnus Bane moves to town and changes all of that.  These two boys learn all about love with other people and then eventually with one another.  Love is a long, complicated journey and nobody can face it alone.
Relationships: Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Helen Blackthorn/Aline Penhallow, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Maryse Lightwood/Robert Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Enchanted

**Author's Note:**

> Yes this is a repost
> 
> I meant to repost this a long time ago and with all the Taylor content last year it made me reinspired. This will a collection of every Taylor Swift song with Malec thrown in. There will be love and laughter and angst and all the great things life tends to throw at people. Updates will be slow as usual, but they will come. Yes this makes six works in progress but we only live once I guess. Enjoy the fluff and leave a comment if you wanna!! 
> 
> Happy Reading :)

**Enchanted**

_ This is me praying that _

_ This was the very first page _

_ Not where the story line ends _

_ My thoughts will echo your name _

_ Until I see you again _

_ These are the words I held back _

_ As I was leaving too soon _

_ I was enchanted to meet you _

Alexander Lightwood’s world had always been about six miles wide. He had grown up in this small town his entire life and he knew by now that nothing exciting ever happened here. His life was quiet and simple with his three siblings and his parents. Their house was an average size with the neighbors that stayed out of your way, but would wave if you met outside by the mailbox. He had known his classmates since he’d been five years old, and nothing much changed with them either. He stuck to his family when he wasn’t in school, not one for wanting to be gossiped about by the entire town. He was best friends with Aline Penhallow, a family that had been around here as long as his own had been. She was his only friend in this lonely town, and some days he longed for anything to happen around here. Anything good or exciting to change his life in a way he finally didn’t expect. 

“Morning Mom,” Alec said with a small smile as he poured a glass of orange juice. 

“Good morning darling,” Maryse smiled at him and kissed his cheek as she carried a pie over to the island counter. Three more just like it were already lined up and fresh from their oven. “You’re not faking sick this year?”

“Dad already told me last night that wouldn’t work,” Alec rolled his eyes slightly with a small smile. “Are Jace and Izzy outside with Max?”

“I think that’s where they took off to,” Maryse put the pie down and leaned against the counter for a moment. Alec had heard her humming at six this morning when she’d been down here starting all the pies. She always made sixteen pies the day of the fall festival and they were always spectacular. “Max looks adorable in his costume. He put it on the minute his eyes opened.”

“Alright,” The screen door loudly slammed shut moments before his father appeared. “NIce to see someone is finally up.”

“I was up late,” Alec mumbled, finishing his juice. 

“The hay is loaded up in the truck and I smell pies are perfectly done,” HIs father ruffled his hair as he took a seat next to Alec at the table. “You really do hate this festival, don’t you?”

“No,” Alec protested quietly as he kept his gaze on his glass. “I don’t hate it, or any of our stupid festivals. They’re just so boring. Nothing new ever happens around here. Everyone contributes the same things and the same kids make trouble I just...want something to happen around here. Something exciting that would make life more interesting.”

“Careful what you wish for,” Robert warned his son. “Exciting isn’t always the good kind of exciting. I know this town isn’t always up and happening, but it’s safe and dependable. There isn’t always enough of that.”

“You have to make your own life exciting,” Maryse told him as she bustled around to get the filling together for the last kind of pie she had to get ready. “For instance, I’m using a different pie recipe than I usually do.”

“So exciting Mom,” Alec said dryly. He put his glass in the sink and knew he should probably stay out of the kitchen. “Let me get dressed and I’ll help you with that hay Dad.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Robert said innocently. “The hay was definitely done at nine this morning when your mother asked me to.”

“Right, of course,” Alec joked as he went upstairs. He paused at the upper landing to peer over his backyard and watch his siblings mess around. Izzy was dressed in the outfit they’d found in the store last week that she had to have. It had all the perfect fall colors and her braid was starting to come undone, probably from Jace messing with her. HIs brother was pushing Max on the swings while they waited to leave. Max was dressed up as batman this year and he did look pretty great. His mom had made the costume since she could do it much cheaper than the overpriced ones at the store, plus it made Max happy since he was original. 

He got dressed in a plaid shirt and a pair of faded jeans, not exactly a costume, but it would have to do. He threw on his dad’s cowboy hat and yanked on the only boots he owned. He had thought about this last night before falling asleep, and could only be grateful it actually worked out. You had to dress up as something at least a little if you lived in this town. 

He headed outside to see Izzy yelling at Jace as usual, while Max pouted since everyone was ignoring him. Max lit up when Alec came into the yard and ran to him, cape fanning out behind him with the slight wind blowing. Alec scooped him up in his arms and made sure to praise his amazing costume for at least a full minute before setting him down. 

“What’s wrong now?” He asked exasperatedly. He loved his siblings, but this year proved hard not to get annoyed at their antics. Two years had never felt like more of a difference than it did now that Alec had started high school. 

“He ruined my braid!” Izzy shouted as she threw her shoe towards Jace. “Mom did it for me this morning and it was perfect! She won’t have time to fix it before we leave and I wanted Simon to like my hair!”

“Simon already likes you hair,” Alec reassured her as he put a hand on her shoulder. “Sit and let me fix it for you. Jace, give me her shoe.”

“Simon doesn’t care about your stupid hair,” Jace muttered as he threw the shoe down at Alec’s feet. “You always take her side these days Alec. You don’t even know what she did to me.”

“She’s our sister Jace,” Alec explained as he tried to keep his patience. “I’m always on both of your sides. Go help Dad with the hay, okay?”

“He still hasn’t done that?” Jace snickered as he left, but not without kicking some leaves onto Isabelle causing her to scowl and swat at him, pouting when she missed. 

“You two really need to come to some kind of truce,” Alec shook his head as he settled on the step above his sister and ran his fingers through her hair. “You want a side braid then? I caught a glimpse before Jace ruined it.”

“Why is he so stupid?” Isabelle asked. “You aren’t mean the way he is. You actually love me. He’s such a jerk all the time.”

“He loves you as much as I do,” Alec told her. “Jace is your age, so it’s different. You two are so similar and you compete over everything. Jace is still in the mindset that girls have germs or whatever.”

“I wish he would quit it,” She scowled as she played with the edge of her dress.

“Clary will love your hair, even if Simon isn’t smart enough to notice,” Alec told her as he twisted the sections over one another expertly. He had learned to braid her hair years ago, when she used to beg their mom to braid it every morning, but it was ruined in less than an hour when she would go play. Maryse wouldn’t sit and braid it every hour so Alec had learned how soon enough. 

Before long they were on their way into town to the fall festival that they held just before Halloween every single year. It was a typical carnival with all the booths and games you could ask for. They had a costume contest and hay bales everywhere with pumpkins on top of those. The leaves were all different colors and the air was crisp with the scent that only came every fall. He sat with Aline by the pies while his parents chatted around with the neighbors and his dad helped set up the hay he had brought over. He could always have a good time with Aline by his side, even if he was hopelessly bored of the older people in his town. All they wanted to do was gossip about who was cheating on who or what was on sale this week. Aline didn’t seem to be restless the way he was. She seemed content to wave to everyone and participated in the gossip happily. Alec had run out of patience for it already, and he had four years left in this stupid town. 

“Alright, your mom and I are here now,” Robert said as he showed up at his shoulder. “If you two want to go walk around for awhile you can. Thanks for keeping an eye on things Alec.”

“No problem Dad,” Alec smiled at him and hugged him loosely before heading off with Aline around the place, looking at the different booths and grabbing them both a cup of cider. They wandered around and played games with kids running around them and the usual cliches of adults lingering around. They ended up on top of a pile of hay bales overlooking the entire festival as the sun set and the bonfire was lit. 

“What is your problem lately?” Aline asked him now that they were completely alone and away from the ears of the town. “You’re never here anymore. You always want to get away and go somewhere else. You’re so callous about this town and the way things have been our entire lives. You used to love these festivals and you used to care about what was going on between the flower shop and the cute guy that runs the bakery. Ever since spring you’ve been different.”

“Don’t you ever want more?” Alec asked her as he rubbed his neck. He hated feeling so different, feeling so separated from his own town, his own family. “Can you picture yourself staying here the rest of your life? Marrying one of these people and making a family? Nothing new ever comes through here, nothing exciting happens. Every day we walk by the same people and every festival people bring the same stuff. Don’t you ever want to see what else is out there? Live in a city and meet new people each and every day?”

“Not when the people I love the most are right here,” Aline gently laid a hand on his arm. Alec shrugged and just couldn’t bring himself to agree. He loved his family with his whole heart, but lately he just wanted to see what that something more might bring. He was gay, and he hadn’t told anyone just yet. He only knew that he did indeed think the bakery boy was cute as hell and that the girls in his school did nothing for him whatsoever. He didn’t know a single person in this town that liked the same gender. He had no idea how his parents would react, and that terrified him. He would tell them, but he didn’t know if he could be happy here. 

Alec was so lost in his thoughts that his sister’s laugh was the only reason he ever noticed him that night. He shook himself out of his thoughts and looked over to see his sister holding one of the largest teddy bears that he had ever seen. A tall boy was standing next to her and shaking his head while saying something to her. She laughed again, but Alec was much too occupied with this boy he had never seen before. He was nearly taller than Alec was, which was impressive by itself. He was slender and had beautiful, tan skin. HIs black hair was actually styled and his clothes were fitting instead of hanging off of him. He was so bright and full of life as he threw his head back to laugh. Everything about him captivated Alec already, and he hadn’t even heard his voice. 

“Looks like that maybe you found your something more,” Aline whispered to him cryptically as she followed his gaze. “Shall we go join the fun finally?”

“He’s probably some kid only here for the summer,” Alec wouldn’t let himself hope. “He’s probably here visiting a grandma for the summer and then he’ll go back to wherever he came from.”

“Except it’s fall,” Aline pointed out. Alec rolled his eyes and shoved her gently.

“Same principle applies, maybe he’s here for a long weekend.”

“Would it kill you to have a little hope?” Aline shoved him gently as she started to climb down. “When did you stop believing in life being good to us?”

“I don’t know,” Alec answered honestly, heart racing now that this new, gorgeous boy was only feet away. He didn’t want to hope that this boy might be sticking around. He knew long distance at their age would never work. He read too much about people meeting and falling in love. He read about those stories where you met someone and they just completed you in a way you didn’t know was missing. People clicked and became best friends in moments. He figured it had probably been like that with Aline, but he had met her so long ago he didn’t even remember how they met. 

“I got the teddy Alec!” His sister cheered as she held up her prize. “Magnus helped me win it finally! He’s great!”

“Magnus?” Alec’s tongue somehow tingled just saying this mystery guy’s name. His heart fluttered as green eyes looked at him, shadowed as the sun disappeared. His eyes made his stomach do flips and his palms started to sweat. 

“That guy was being a complete tool,” Magnus explained with a slight smile. “He was rigging the whole thing to trick her and I beat him at his own game.”

“So you like rescuing damsels?” Aline teased, still trading looks with Alec. “I’m Aline, and this is Alexander.”

“Alec,’ He corrected, blushing slightly when Magnus’s eyes locked back onto him. “She’s been trying to win that thing for years.”

“I”m Magnus Bane,” He held out a hand politely and as Alec took it their eyes jumped to meet again as an instant warmth spread through him. “I, um, well I guess you could call me the new guy in town.”

“You’re moving here?” Alec didn’t dare to hope it was true. That he might get to actually have this boy in his life for longer than two months. That this boy might be able to be someone to him. 

“My mom and I sort of need a new start,” Magnus said without looking at any of them. “My grandmother lived here for years before she died and my mom loved it whenever she would visit. She figured it was somewhere quiet we could….start over.” 

“It’s definitely quiet,” Alec agreed, only to get an elbow to the ribs by Aline accompanied with a glare.

“Alec is city hungry, ignore him. This place is great and everyone is super close.” Aline defended their small town proudly. “We have everything we need right here.” 

“This festival is nothing you find in a major city,” Magnus told them, looking around at the tiny booths and the kids playing in the street. “So far I’m seeing the charm.” On the word charm his bright eyes flicked over to Alec, making him blush once again. 

“Alec and I will tell you everything,” Aline promised, looking delighted with his pink cheeks. “Pretty soon you’ll just be one of the regulars. Everyone will forget you’re new before Christmas.”

“That sounds perfect,” Magnus agreed as he looked at them all. They were back among the booths again, playing more games and trying more of the food. They told Magnus stories about everyone they could, and he took it all in stride easily. Alec bantered with him easily, both of them quick with their replies in a way nobody but Aline had ever been able to keep up previously. They ended up walking side by side before the night was over, and Alec’s feelings were all over the place. He truly hoped that Magnus would find him as captivated as he found him. Too soon his parents were ready to head home and Alec rode in the back of the truck, picturing Magnus’s eyes and smile the entire way home, the light blush lasting until he fell asleep that night. 


	2. Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's rough managing relationships growing up. Aaron is going to be an emotionally abusive ass so if that triggers anyone please be careful. Malec won't be happening for a bit, but the best friend dynamic is nearly as fun, right?
> 
> Happy Reading! :)

Fifteen

When all you wanted  
Was to be wanted  
Wish you could go back  
And tell yourself what you know now

Cause when you're fifteen,  
Somebody tells you they love you  
You're gonna believe them

Alec LIghtwood ran as fast as he could to get back to the harvest festival, yet another excuse the town used to get together in the town square, even though they had had one only last month. He swore they had one of these things nine months out of the year, or more if they could find a real excuse. Magnus Bane had certainly started some kind of ball rolling in his life. Ever since they had become friends his life had gotten much, much more interesting. 

“About time you showed up,” Magnus said to him quietly as Alec slipped in next to him at one of the tables. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show.”

“And be the town pariah until next month?” Alec countered quietly. “Not likely. Did my parents see me gone?”

“I covered for you,” Magnus whispered back with a grin. “Where were you anyways? Your hair is a complete disaster.”

“Isn’t it always according to you?” Alec ran a hand through it, trying to tame it somewhat so that nobody else would notice. “Did I miss anything?”

“Not really,” Magnus was still studying him carefully with a frown. “You were back at that military base, weren’t you?”

“I…” Alec trailed off and looked away. Magnus and him had taken an adventure out to the military base last month and Magnus had flirted his way into a party on the base. They had met so many people and danced with strangers. Magnus had the charm turned up to max capacity as he flirted with different soldiers. It made Alec nearly sick with jealousy as he watched Magnus all over different men or women, but then one man made his interest just as obvious in Alec as Magnus had been in others. His name was Aaron, and he was absolutely gorgeous. He said all kinds of nice things and he lived in the city when he wasn’t on duty and he was so many things Alec wanted. He wasn’t as captivating as Magnus...but he wasn’t bad either. 

Alec had no idea what he was doing, but it made him feel like a little less of a small town loser. 

“Alec,” Magnus had a tone that was a cross between disapproval and concern. “Those guys….they aren’t the kind you should bank your heart on. They could get deployed at any time and most of them have people back home waiting for them. A lot of them aren’t the best sort of people. I just took you out there to have a good time for a night.”

“Aaron is different,” Alec defended himself and the new man in his life. “He’s nice and sincere and I like him.” He blushed as he said the last words. He liked Magnus, sure, but the past month had showed that Magnus wasn’t jumping into a relationship anytime soon. It seemed like Magnus was more into having some fun than settling down. 

“He’s nineteen Alec,” Magnus shook his head and took a large bite of his food. “He’s too old to be involved with some teenager. We’re fifteen, what does he want with someone our age? Does he know you’re a freshman in high school?”

“You’re just jealous that some guy found me worth their time,” Alec said hotly and a tad desperate not to believe what Magnus was saying. 

“Alec,” A deep voice said behind them. Alec turned to see Aaron in the flesh behind him. He was shocked to see the soldier here. Aaron had said he was busy tonight, but he had made time to come see him. His blue eyes were gorgeous with his blonde hair and firm build. “Aren’t you going to come kiss me hello?”

“The fuck?” Alec heard Magnus mutter beside him, but Alec was too delighted to even defend his choices. He was up in a flash and suddenly had Aaron’s lips on his. Aaron made his head spin in the most pleasant of ways. He lost Magnus after that as Aaron steered him to the other side of the festival. He was so wrapped up in blue eyes and strong arms that nothing else seemed to matter.

~~

“Alec,’ His father’s voice stopped him from running out the door Saturday morning. He was so glad it was finally the weekend and he didn’t have school keeping him from Aaron. 

“Oh, hi Dad,” Alec smiled at him as he pulled on his shoes. He didn’t dare to keep Aaron waiting, or he would get angry and be distant from him for hours. Alec was addicted to Aaron’s touch and his kisses already. He felt so wanted by Aaron that not being around him made him feel like some kind of failure. 

“Alexander, we need to talk,” His dad's voice grew serious and it made Alec pause. He had been avoiding actually telling his family about his boyfriend, but he had hoped it could just blow over without talking about it. He had no idea what his father thought of him liking boys, and he didn’t really want to find out. “Come sit with me? Just for a bit.”

“I'm supposed to…” Alec trailed off at his father’s look, knowing that there was no way he would get out that door without making his father angry. His dad never asked much of him, and he didn’t seem angry. He texted Aaron to say he wouldn’t make it for another half an hour or more before following his dad to the living room. He sat next to his dad on the couch and suddenly fear swept over him. He knew that parents often didn’t react well to finding out their children liked the same gender, and he just never imagined he would be one of those kids. Aaron had distracted him from ever facing this very moment. 

“Dad, I’m so sorry. I meant to tell you a long time ago and I just never found the right time or the right words. I don’t even know when I started liking boys instead of girls and it just happened and please don’t hate me,” Alec rambled, hands shaking as he realized this moment could change his life forever. This town’s LGBT community might as well be invisible as far as most people were concerned. 

“Son, calm down,” Robert’s voice was low and comforting as he drew Alec closer with an arm around him, rubbing his arm gently. “That’s not what we need to talk about. I would have rather found out from you rather than seeing another boy’s tongue down your throat is all. I would never hate you for who you loved. We aren’t mad that you like boys, but we are concerned about this boy.”

“Aaron?” Alec perked up just saying his name, relieved that his father didn’t seem to care about the gender. 

“Magnus is worried about you,” HIs dad said lowly. “He mentioned it to me yesterday. This isn’t the boy you should be getting wrapped up in so young. He’s too old for you. He’s going to hurt you in the end. Alec, he isn’t a permanent thing here. Military men move around a lot and you have no idea who he is where he comes from.”

“I know him,” Alec insisted stubbornly. “Magnus is jealous that none of the boys he was dancing with called him the next day. Aaron is great Dad, honest. He treats me well and he is so nice and charming. He takes me dancing and out for really nice dinners and he has his own car-”

“You freaked out when you couldn’t call him back two days ago.” Robert pointed out as he ran a hand through his hair. “You aren’t the boy who does that. You’ve never been the kind to never have your cell phone leave your hand. Then you spent an hour in your room arguing with him when you did call him back.”

“He was upset that he didn’t know where I was,” Alec shook his head, anxious to leave now that he knew his father didn’t hate him for who he was. “He worries about me. He likes to know where I am. He just knows how dangerous the world can be.”

“That is kind of what you have parents for,” It almost came out as a joke, but the serious tone of voice ruined that. “Alec, listen to me, if it was any boy around town I’d be thrilled for you. I want you to find someone that honestly cares about you.”

“You need to stop acting like this town is the entire world,” Alec snapped, upset that his dad couldn’t trust his judgement. “There are so many other people that don’t live in this stupid town. Just because he’s from the city doesn’t mean he’s evil. I have to go meet Aaron now. I have a boyfriend and he’s wonderful. I”ll convince him to come to dinner, alright? You can get to know him and you’ll see that he’s perfect!”

“Please be careful,” Robert pleaded with him softly. Alec gave him a hug and a kiss before darting out the door to meet his boyfriend. 

~~~

“You’re quiet,” Magnus observed as they walked home from school. Alec was grateful he had Magnus by his side today as he was wrapped up in texting Aaron. He had totally forgotten he had committed to staying after school to tutor people in math and had forgotten to tell Aaron until this morning that there was no way he could sneak away for a date. He had to babysit tonight for his parents and he had thought he could sneak time in beforehand, but then tutoring got in the way of it all. 

“I”m okay,” Alec said lowly as he kept checking his phone for a reply, heart feeling like it was breaking when his screen remained empty. 

“You aren’t,” Magnus insisted as he started walking a tad closer. “Your boyfriend didn’t take it well? That you had to cancel tonight?”

“No,” Alec said miserably. He just wanted Aaron to text him back and say that he wasn’t as upset as Alec thought he was. “He’s angry with me. Really angry. I don’t know what to do.”

“You were off tutoring people, not fooling around with another boy. He’ll come around.” Magnus tried to comfort him. “You are in school, and that comes with a lot of obligations. You’re allowed to forget. Plus, you’ve seen him every night this week which is why you had to copy my math this morning.”

“I know that but-” Alec was cut short as his phone finally vibrated and a text came through from the boy he couldn’t stop thinking of. It stole his breath away at the amount of anger a person could put into a simple message. 

“Alec? What did he say?” Magnus demanded as he put a hand on Alec’s arm. When Alec couldn’t find words to reply Magnus snagged his phone from his slack grip and read the message for himself. “What the hell is this guy’s problem? You don’t talk to people this way. He calls himself your boyfriend? This guy has the maturity of a five year old.”

“He’s just mad I had to cancel last minute,” Alec was nearly in tears as he took the phone back to reply. 

“I don’t care how mad he is, that isn’t the way he should talk to you.” Magnus was just as furious and Alec didn’t know why that made him afraid.

“Magnus, I’m sorry,” Alec apologized impulsively.

“Why are you apologizing for him?” Magnus stopped to put both hands on his shoulders and look at him properly. “Alec, don’t put up with this. Break this thing off, please. It’s not healthy for you and he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I will,” Alec said, resigned to the fact he had made a mistake. “Yeah, I’ll tell him we’re through tonight. If you guys are right then he’ll be gone in a few weeks anyways with wherever they assign him.”

“Good,” Magnus smiled at him as he let go. “I may not know you long Alec, but this isn’t you. I’m glad you can go back to normal after this.”

“Yeah,” Alec put his phone away for the rest of the way home. He was determined to break things off while he could.

But then Aaron showed up at his door with flowers and his sweet smile a few hours later and Alec happened to forget all about his resolution from earlier.


	3. You Belong With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now we really get into some heavy stuff in this chapter, with the family love and fluff we love. Magnus's mom has some heavy depression and references to abuse are mentioned. Aaron is still an asshole, surprise surprise. Alec won't be stupid forever guys promise. 
> 
> Happy Reading :)

You Belong With Me

Walkin' the streets with you and your worn-out jeans  
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be  
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself  
Hey isn't this easy  
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town  
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down  
You say your fine  
I know you better then that

Magnus walked over to where Izzy was sitting in the front yard reading a book on a huge blanket. The afternoon sun was fading and the cold was setting in, even if it was spring. He pulled his jacket closer to him as he sat next to her.

“Hey babe,” Magnus kissed her cheek gently. “How come you’re out here alone?”

“Jace is out with Max and Dad on some boys thing,” Izzy said while rolling her eyes. “Mom is visiting with someone so I’m bored. Aaron is in town so we both know where Alec is.” 

Magnus gritted his teeth at the mention of Aaron Lause. That boy was someone he would gladly punch in the face if Alec would ever bring him around. Alec was so messed up mentally, and yet he had no idea. Alec was so blinded by what Aaon called love and everyone else called abuse and manipulation. He was pushing and pulling Alec every which direction, making him cry one minute before showing up with some treat to make him smile. Magnus knew he was pressuring Alec to do more than he was completely comfortable with, not that Alec would admit that. The only bad part about all of them expressing such strong opinions about Alec’s boyfriend, was that his best friend no longer wanted to open up about him as much. 

“Your brother will soon enough get over his obsessed phase,” Magnus told the middle LIghtwood with a smile. “Alec is just….well a bit infatuated.”

“Aaron is going to break his heart, isn’t he?” Isabelle didn’t look at him as she asked, her eyes downcast and her face sad. “He cries a lot when Aaron gets angry with him. He wouldn’t eat for three days-”

“Until I took him for ice cream,” Magnus finished for her, tilting her chin to look up at him. “Hey, i”m going to take care of him alright? Even when Aaron makes him cry I’m going to take care of him.”

“Yeah, you’re good at that job,” She looked at him more closely and her mouth turned into a deeper frown. “Hey, you aren’t wearing makeup? What’s up with that? I’ve never seen you without it.”

“IT’s just not that kind of day,” Magnus said simply. He wished Alec was here right now. He never asked for much of Alec’s time, but tonight he really needed him. Talking to Isabelle, normally as easy as talking to his best friend, was taking all the effort he had. He was wearing Alexander’s hoodie, which helped some but he wanted the boy. 

“Hey guys,” Magnus’s heart relaxed as Alec appeared a few yards away without either of them noticing. He was home and he looked happy enough so that meant Magnus could be the one falling apart this time. His gut twisted when he saw the way Alec’s hair was ruffled in the back, like hands had been running through it repeatedly. 

Isabelle ran over to her brother to hug him and talk a mile a minute about what was going on while he’d been gone. Alec nodded and smiled along while poking fun at her gently causing her to hit him even while laughing playfully. Magnus scuffed the pavement with his shoe, the happy scene making his heart tear. He had thought moving here would be the best thing to ever happen after meeting Aline and Alec at that festival. He thought that the feelings of not being enough would leave. He had thought that something might heal in this small town, but right now he felt like the wounds were fresh. 

“Izzy, we’ll talk later,” He heard Alec say, snapping him out of his thoughts. A hand was on his arm gently, the heat burning through the sleeve of Alec’s hoodie. “Want to go for a walk Mags?”

“Yeah,” Magnus said immediately, taking the first step away from the Lightwood’s front lawn and heading across the field to their path to the lake. Alec loved to be by the water, and they’d spent so many afternoons here away from the rest of the world. He could hear Alec behind him, crashing through the twigs and leaves still on the ground. They were lucky the snow had finally melted. 

“Okay, okay,’ Alec’s hand gripped his arm and pulled him to a stop once they reached the familiar dock they usually sat on. Magnus could feel himself trembling and trying not to fall apart and he couldn’t look at Alec’s face or he would. “Magnus, enough running. Talk to me. Your face hasn’t ever been that pale except in Biology when we saw them dissect that cat.”

“That was disgusting,” Magnus said numbly without humor lacing his voice that time. It was the first time Alec had held his hand was when he started feeling so faint from the sight of some poor cat being cut open like that. Alec had held his small hand in his larger one tightly to make sure he didn’t end up passing out in front of their freshman class. His hands were what Magnus normally fantasized about when they were supposed to be working on homework together. He dreamt of those hands holding him, touching him. His hand hadn’t stopped tingling for hours after that class, though he’d blamed it on trauma at the time. 

“Mags,” Alec’s hand was now on his cheek, hazel eyes filled with worry. He was too young to feel this, they were too young. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with some small town boy at the age of fifteen. Alec….he made Magnus want to tell him every single detail about his horrible life. He made Magnus believe that this wasn’t all his fault. “Mom says she hasn’t seen your mom in a while at their book club. Does she have something to do with why you’re upset? Is she okay?”

“She’s depressed again,” Magnus got out with Alec’s eyes on him and his hands everywhere. He felt dizzy and lightheaded and he hated that he could still see the traces of a hickey on Alec’s neck from his manipulative son of a bitch boyfriend. “I thought moving here would fix things. I begged her to leave him when I was in the h-hospital.”

“Hospital?” Alec repeated, alarm in every inch of his face. “Magnus, I know you wanted to move away from your stepfather. Did…. Mags, did he hurt you?”

“She won’t eat anything and she won’t get out of bed again. I thought she would get better once we were away from him. I thought that once he was gone we would be a normal family.” Tears started to fall down Magnus’s face and his knees felt wobbly. Alec was quick with an arm around his waist to help him sit down without falling over. He brought his knees up to his chest and was glad Alec was so much broader than he was so it could swallow him up like a cocoon. “He found us again.”

“Oh God,” Alec sat close to him, their knees and shoulders touching. Magnus was gripping his hand for dear life. “Your mom wouldn’t take him back Mags. She would never do that to you. She is going through a down day is all.”

“She loves him,” Magnus wanted to scream at Alec that he should know all about that. That he should know all about loving someone who lies and manipulates you until you don’t know the truth anymore. “She misses him and she’s going to take him back. I can’t do this again Alec. I need this to be over.”

“Magnus I’m so sorry,” Alec hugged him tightly and Magnus felt him press a kiss to the top of his head, making his heart ache. Alec was perfect, in every single way. His family was perfect, caring, and loving. They were the kind of people Magnus had always dreamed of meeting. The kind that had no agendas and were simply good people. “I’m here though, and that has to make a difference. You can stay at mine as much as you want to. My parents love you. I love you. Aline loves you. You aren’t alone in this.”

“I don’t want him here,” Magnus said around a sob. “He’s going to ruin everything. Everyone will love him, they always do. He charms everyone to pieces and nobody ever believes me.”

“I believe you,” Alec told him fiercely. “I will always believe you. No matter what I know what a slime bag he is and I’m on your side.” 

“Thank you-” Magnus was cut off when Alec’s phone rang. A new wave of tears hit when he saw the familiar picture on Alec’s phone of the him locking lips with Aaron. He knew Alec would answer, and the sick thing was Magnus wanted him to only if to spare Alec a night of Aaron ignoring him or being rude to him again. “You can answer it.”

“No,” Alec said, looking to his face and reaching out to wipe the fresh tears away. He put the phone to his ear as he locked eyes with Magnus. “Aaron, I’ll have to call you back. I’m busy right now. Yes, I”m with Magnus and he needs me.” Magnus heard an angry voice on the other end, but instead of giving in Alec hung up and proceeded to turn his phone off. 

“He’s just going to start treating you like crap again,” Magnus said quietly. 

“Then let him,” Alec said firmly as he tucked his phone in his pocket. “I’m more worried about getting a smile back on your face than Aaron being insecure.”

I love you, the words were on the tip of Magnus’s tongue to say, but he was so scared. He was scared he was reading too much into everything and that Alec would still choose Aaron. Alec made him feel so happy, and so secure. He wasn’t the same Magnus when Alec was with him. He had one person in this world on his side.

~~~

Magnus was back to himself in a few days, even if his step-father had shown up at their door last night. He had plans with the Lightwoods today, and that’s all that mattered. He loved the Saturdays with his favorite family in the whole world. He didn’t even have to worry about his mother since even if that ass was mean to him, he would at least make sure his mother ate. He walked up to the big familiar house on the corner to hear voices outside already. They were heading to a tree patch to cut down the LIghtwood Christmas tree for the year. This was apparently a tradition they did right after Thanksgiving every single year. 

“You can’t just take my phone away,” Alec’s voice was the one he heard first, tight with tension. Magnus was taken aback. Alec never fought with his parents. He had never seen a hint of tension between the Lightwoods. 

“I can when you are rude to your mother and ignore Max,” Robert’s voice returned, out of view in the garage. “Alec, it’s over now. You got your phone back yesterday, but if you don’t watch your tone with me then it’ll be gone again.”

“You never keep me from talking to Magnus” Alec muttered. Magnus’s heart started beating faster and he was frozen, unsure if he should interrupt or take a lap around the block.

“Magnus is a nice boy who is actually good for you,” Robert said, with a hint of exasperation in his tone. “You don’t change your whole demeanor when Magnus is around. Magnus makes you the son I raised again. Aaron turns you into someone I don’t recognize. You don’t talk to Max like that and you know it.”

“I can’t always play with him when he demands it,” Alec complained. “I’m in highschool now and I have friends and a boyfriend and a life. Max can’t just throw a fit every time I can’t play with him,” 

“Your brother came to me sobbing Alexander,” Robert said sternly. “You do not tell him to fuck off no matter how busy you are. You would have had that homework done already if you hadn’t been out with Aaron three hours longer than I told you to be. Max is an eight year old and is wondering when his brother became another bully in his life. You are picking fights with Jace all the time and the only people you are getting along with are your mother and sister. I know that’s only because you know I’d do a lot more than take your phone away if you disrespected either of them.”

“I won’t go today then since this whole family appears to hate me,” Alec sulked dramatically. Magnus rolled his eyes and knew Alec had had a fight with Aaron today probably. He always got insecure and dramatic when they were going at it. 

“Alec, come on,” Robert was probably just as frustrated as Magnus was at Alexander’s mood swings most of the time. “That isn’t what I want, or what anyone wants. We want you to come with us to have a nice day. You and Max are our tree picking duo. Leave your phone home today, yeah?”

“No,” Alec muttered stubbornly as he turned on his heel. Magnus backed up out of his way as Alec stormed back in his house. Magnus decided to give him a second to collect himself before knocking. He inched towards the garage to see Robert getting a cooler of drinks ready for them to take. 

“Hi Robert,” Magnus said like he hadn’t just heard their entire fight. “You want any help?”

“You heard that then?” Robert said wryly as he handed Magnus a bag of ice. “I hate fighting with him. I think I hate that he’s dating that soldier more.”

“We all do,” Magnus said in agreement. “Don’t be hard on him Robert, please. He’s….Alec is being manipulated in a million ways. He’ll see the truth eventually. He’s infatuated with his first boyfriend.”

“Too bad he can’t just fall for you,” Robert wasn’t facing him when he said it so he didn’t see Magnus drop the cooler on his toes after shaking it to even out the ice. “You’re a good boy Magnus. I just wish Alec could find someone nice to be with. He’s never been this moody in his life. He thinks we don’t know how much he cries, but we do. Maryse is going spare about him not eating half the time.”

“I’ll make sure he’s okay,” Magnus promised Alec’s father, much like he had his sister a few days ago. “I”ll get him through this.”

“Thank you Magnus, for being his friend,” Robert said sincerely before Alec appeared again and brightened when he saw Magnus. 

They slipped off to be alone once they had taken the two hour drive to the woods. They were laughing and joking around with Magnus tossing a snowball in his direction when he could get a shot in. The good mood evaporated when Alec reached up to swing off one of the branches overhanging the trail and his shirt rode up a few inches while his pants slipped down with the weight he’d been losing. Bruises were on Alec’s hips and a bite mark was on his stomach that made Magnus feel sick to his stomach. He had learned to ignore most of what Aaron did to his best friend since the fights were never worth it and most of it was harmless even if Alec was sad for awhile. This time he wasn’t going to let it slide harmlessly.

“Hey,” Magnus said sharply as Alec hit the ground again. Alec looked at him with startled eyes.

“Hey what?” Alec echoed in confusion as Magnus backed him into a tree, not letting Alec avoid the conversation this time. 

“You have bruises on your hips,” Magnus said fiercely. “You have them and I know exactly who put something like that there. You have bruises all over you and you are damn lucky your father hasn’t seen those. He would help me kill that asshole in a heartbeat.”

“You’re mad I’m having sex?” Alec asked calmly, though his eyes were darting all over the place. 

“I’m angry he’s forcing you to have sex,” Magnus said furiously. He had wanted to kill Aaron before, but if he had been anywhere near this mountain Magnus would probably have followed through. “I know damn well you aren’t interested in sex yet. I am one of your best friends and the first time I hinted a blow job joke I thought you were having a heat stroke. That asshole, however, is nineteen and definitely sexually active.”

“He’s getting deployed,” Alec said quietly. “He told me he’s leaving for nine months across the country. He wanted to do it...before he left.”

“He has manipulated you into some fucked up shit,” Magnus ranted as he paced. “He has made you ditch your friends and your family over and over again in case he would get mad at you. He talks to you like you’re his property instead of a teenager with your own life and your own interests. Are you sure he’s really leaving? Have you seen the letter? Did he tell you he was getting deployed when he was on top of you and you told him you weren’t ready yet?” 

The way Alec’s face paled said that he had guessed the scenario very much right. Magnus swore and wanted to scream and cry at the same time. 

“I...It just happened,” Alec finally said, his voice young, vulnerable, and the one Magnus was used to hearing. “I didn’t...but then he said that and I spent the night over there. Dad thinks I was at yours. He wanted to do it so many times and he told me he loved me.”

“Alec…” Magnus put a hand on his to squeeze it gently. “I”m not angry with you. I’m angry with Aaron. I’m angry that he thinks it’s okay to manipulate you every which way. He makes it so you don’t want to eat anymore. Has he told you that you’re fat?”

Alec’s silence told Magnus everything he needed to know. 

“You can’t tell my Dad,” Alec begged him. He was fighting tears and that wasn’t what today was supposed to be about. “Dad will kill him, seriously. I don’t know…. I’m sorry Magnus. He just says things and at the time they make so much sense. He’s just so captivating and when I’m with him I just let him tell me whatever I want to hear.”

“If you don’t break it off with him I will tell Robert,” Magnus promised him even though it killed him. “I am not going to let Aaron destroy you and do nothing about it. He is causing you to starve yourself and he made you lose your virginity in his stupid bunker before you were ready.”

“What can Dad even do?” Alec asked Magnus with his hazel eyes large and bright. Magnus realized that part of Alec, the part that was still a kid, wanted to tell his dad everything that was happening to him. He wanted his Dad to fix his problems, and this asshole had told him that wasn’t possible.

“Your dad would kick his ass,” Magnus promised him with a smile. “I would bring the popcorn and cheer him on with Aline. Your dad adores you, even if he’s frustrated right now. He would do anything to protect you. He would keep Aaron the hell away from you forever. He will get deployed Alec, even if he lied to you this time. He won’t be here forever.”

“He will be so angry,” Alec said, closing his eyes and sliding down to sit in the snow.

“Not at you,” Magnus promised as he sat next to him, ignoring the cold seeping through his pants. 

“I do love him,” Alec said softly, voice choked.

“I know you do,” Magnus linked their fingers and rested his head on Alec’s shoulder. “I know you do.”

As much as Magnus was in love with Alec, he knew that Alec wasn’t there yet. Everyone thought Alec belonged with Magnus, but Alec could only see Aaron.


	4. Innocent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Magnus's mom does commit suicide in this chapter, but it's only spoken about so nothing graphic. Be careful though guys please. 
> 
> Happy Reading

Innocent

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days?  
Always a bigger bed to crawl into  
Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything  
And everybody believed in you?

It's alright, just wait and see  
Your string of lights is still bright to me  
Oh, who you are is not where you've been.  
You're still an innocent,  
You're still an innocent.

Fall - Sophmore year

The pounding on his door made Alec jolt awake from sleep with his heart racing and his head disoriented. He stumbled out of bed and down the stairs, wondering how his family was still asleep through all of this. He passed a sleepy Max on the way and told him to go back to bed with a kiss on his forehead before quickly going down the stairs before his sister or Jace woke up as well. His parents were up if he was, but he still got to the door in peace. He wrenched open the door and blinked in shock when he saw Magnus on the other side, but a Magnus quite different from what he was used to. His hair was a rumpled mess and he wore some tee and basketball shorts. It was obvious he had been asleep not too long ago, and it was equally obvious that something truly terrible had happened. Magnus was sobbing so hard it was a miracle he was still standing at all. 

“Mags, Magnus what’s wrong?” Alec asked anxiously as he took Magnus’s arm in his hand and tugged him inside to avoid their nosy neighbors. Magnus couldn’t speak yet and Alec could feel him shaking under his hands. It wasn’t the first time Magnus had broken down in front of him, but it was definitely the worst Alec had seen so far. Something horrible had happened here, and Alec was dreading finding out what it could be. “Magnus, can you talk to me? Are you hurt?”

“No” Magnus got out shakily as tears didn’t stop rolling down his face. Alec sat him down on the couch and put a blanket around him to keep him warm. Once again the nights were cold and it was hard to believe they had really met a year ago. A year of seeing Magnus happy, sad, and everything inbetween. Aline was right in saying that nobody still thought Magnus was just the new guy in town. 

“Shhh, Magnus take some deep breaths,” Alec told him softly the way Magnus always did to him when he was the one sobbing. He was sure Magnus had a better reason than some stupid boy that he should have broken up with months ago. The shine of Aaron had worn off by now and Alec was more looking for an excuse for a way out than anything else. 

“She’s dead,” Magnus finally said as he seemed to breathe a bit slower. Alec wondered if his parents could hear this or if they had gone back to sleep once they knew it was only Magnus. He took Magnus’s hand in his and held tightly.

“Who Mags? Who is dead?” Alec had a sinking feeling he knew exactly who Magnus meant. It was one of Magnus’s greatest fears since his stepfather had dropped back into town last spring. He hoped he was wrong, but he also didn’t know who else it could be. 

“My-” Magnus’s sobs took over before he could say it out loud Alec closed his eyes and pulled Magnus into his arms tightly. Magnus held onto his shirt for dear life as he cried. Alec stroked his hair softly and wished there was something else he could do, anything else. 

“Magnus, she loved you. You know she loved you so much She just couldn’t fight anymore,” Alec said quietly even if he knew it wasn’t going to help the pain of Magnus’s mom committing suicide. He had always told Magnus she never would leave him like that, but he had been wrong. The older he got he realized that a lot of things that weren’t supposed to happen did. He felt tears slipping over his own cheeks listening to Magnus sob like this and not being able to do a damn thing to fix it. 

“Hey boys,’ HIs father had come into the living room and Alec was so glad he had the kind of parents that never left well enough alone. As much as he’d fought with his father over Aaron so many nights he was still right here when Alec needed him most. “What’s going on Magnus?” His father had a hand on Magnus’s knee, but the other boy was still unable to speak at all as the tears were too much for him to fight. Alec knew he had to be the one to get it together enough to say something. 

“Magnus’s mom committed suicide,” Alec said the sentence aloud and tightened his hold on Magnus when the actual words made a fresh round of sobs against his chest emerge. Alec had only met the woman a handful of times and he never would have guessed how much she suffered. She was there with a kind smile and she adored Magnus that much was obvious in the way she spoke to him and touched him constantly. He had only glimpsed her once on a dark day when he’d stopped by to drop something off for Magnus. Alec could remember seeing the woman huddled on the couch with a completely blank stare on her face as the television played in the background. She had looked so hopeless and like the world was ending right there in her living room. Alec had never seen anyone look like that and he hoped he never would again. 

“Have you called the police?” His dad asked quietly as he looked at Magnus like he felt nearly as helpless as Alec did right now. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Alec replied quietly. Magnus wasn’t sobbing any longer, but the tears were still falling in a consistent stream over his cheeks and nose. 

“I”ll get on that,” His dad got up and took his phone out of his pocket just as his mother appeared in the doorway to the living room looking incredibly concerned and confused. Before she could fuss over either of them his father ran interference and probably told her to go meet the cops over at Magnus’s house instead of having Magnus go over there in this state. 

“Where is your step-father?” Alec asked his friend quietly as he let Magnus lay his head in his lap and continued stroking his hair.

“He’s gone,” Magnus said hollowly. “That’s why I went to her room in the first place. I went to get a glass of water and I saw his truck was gone. His coat was gone from the closet and something told me to see if his stuff was in the bathroom and it wasn’t. So then I go to see if my mother is okay since they probably had some kind of fight and instead of finding her in bed I see that she hung herself from the ceiling fan.” He broke off on a sob, but he seemed to be out of tears to cry for now. 

“I”m sorry,” Alec told him lamely. “I know that’s the most useless thing to say, but I don’t know what else I can say.”

“You mean it,” Magnus told him hoarsely. “It’s not useless coming from you.”

“Mags, you don’t deserve this,” Alec said quietly and he didn’t think Magnus even heard him. They fell into silence as they distantly heard the sirens come to take her body away and the police came to talk to Magnus about what he’d found. Alec couldn’t help him through that so he had to watch Magnus curl up and answer their endless questions. He hugged himself until his father came over to put an arm around him. He turned to hug him tightly and tried not to feel upset about a woman he hardly knew. 

“Don’t ever leave,’ Alec pleaded with him quietly. If he was feeling so much pain over a mother that wasn’t even his own then he couldn’t even start to imagine what losing his own parents might be like. 

“Never,” HIs father promised him with a kiss to his head. Alec knew this was the kind of night that would change them forever. 

~~~~

The week until the funeral was a long one. Alec hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep this week between Magnus waking up sobbing most nights after having dreams about finding his poor mother and then lying awake trying to figure out how he was possibly going to help Magnus through all of this. Then he had Aaron demanding his attention of all people. The first two days or so he was understanding when Alec had told him what had happened, but then he was right back to being demanding and unreasonable. Alec had avoided him this entire week and felt that Aaron was going to dump him and while part of him was dying at the thought of losing his boyfriend, most of him didn’t really care. Magnus was more important than any boy could ever be. 

“Is Magnus alright?” His father appeared in his bedroom doorway, or rather it was the room he now shared with Magnus. Another perk of living in a small town was that foster care wasn’t really a thing all the way out here. You took care of your own around here and most questions weren’t asked. 

“He’s crying in the bathroom,” Alec said sadly as he finished the knot in his tie. “He will be okay though. We will get him through today and then just try to...heal or something.”

“You’re a good friend to him Alec,’ His father said with a smile. “I’m sorry he’s going through this, but I’m glad he has you through it.”

“We’ll be down in ten,” Alec assured him. He went to go and try to coax Magnus out of the bathroom when his phone went off showing Aaron’s face. He sighed in irritation and could not believe that Aaron would really call today. Alec had told him that today was the funeral and that he wouldn’t be able to talk. 

“Aaron, it’s Saturday,” Alec snapped as he picked up the phone. 

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Aaron crooned down the line. Months ago Alec would have smiled and fallen for just that simple line. Now it made him roll his eyes and grow more irritated. 

“I told you I couldn’t talk to you today,” Alec told him firmly. “Today is the funeral and I don’t have time to deal with you.”

“Deal with me?” Aaron repeated, anger jumping into his tone quickly. “What kind of way is that to talk to your boyfriend?”

“Leave me alone Aaron,” Alec told him firmly. “My best friend is sitting across the hall sobbing because he lost his entire family a week ago and you have the balls to complain to me because I haven’t talked to you in a week.”

“Alec-” Aaron started before Alec cut him off.

“Get lost today Aaron!” Alec snapped before hanging up and going across the hall.

“Mags, come out here and don’t hide. Please? You’re allowed to cry as much as you want today and nobody is going to care. My dad is downstairs and he is ready to walk you in there and get you through this. We love you Magnus and it’s going to be okay.” Alec rested a hand gently against the door. 

“You told Aaron to fuck off for me,” Magnus said as soon as he cracked the door open. He hadn’t bothered with makeup today since he knew it wasn’t going to stay. 

“Of course I did,” Alec told him. “Nothing is more important than making sure you’re okay.”

Magnus only replied by throwing his arms around Alec’s neck, who caught him easily and held him tightly. His heart was beating oddly as he held Magnus close and smelled his skin, freshly showered for the first time in a few days. He had no idea what this meant for the two of them, but he would deal with it much, much later. Today he had to get Magnus to the funeral home and help him say goodbye to the person who meant the most to him. 

The service was quiet and relatively short and Magnus clung to Alec and his father the entire time to keep himself standing through the process of laying his mother to rest. She looked so peaceful and so much better than she had the day Alec had glimpsed her on the couch that night. She was finally allowed to rest from the demons her mind put her through for so many years. His younger siblings were sad and confused, especially Max who had no idea what suicide even was. Alec couldn’t bring himself to tell him too much about all of it, and could only hope his little brother had so many years to go before he knew anyone lying in a casket. There was a light dinner afterward that the town put on. Magnus was being polite and talking to everyone, but Alec hated seeing his green eyes so hollow and dull when they were always full of laughter and life. Alec loved Magnus’s eyes the most from all his beautiful features. He had gotten lost in them so many times when Magnus would ramble on telling a story. 

“Alec!” Aline broke his musings as she appeared by his side looking a bit alarmed. “Alec, Peter is looking for you and he is furious.”

“The bakery boy?” Alec looked at her completely lost. He’d hardly stammered out ten words to Peter since he’d become aware of his presence a bit over a year ago. He had had a crush on him for a while, but after Magnus had swept into town he hadn’t so much as looked at Peter twice. “What would he be furious with me about?”

“I heard him on the phone,” Aline told him lowly so she could avoid eavesdroppers. “Alec, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your douchebag boyfriend is a bigger asshole than we thought. He’s been two timing you for months with Peter. Of course the bakery boy has no idea that you came first, but he has quite the temper it might turn out.”

“Aaron was seeing him?” Alec said numbly. He knew now was the worst time to be worrying about boyfriend issues, but this definitely threw him for a loop. After everything he’d put up with after Aaron had apologized to him and told him he would try to be better. After Aaron had made him lose over twenty pounds this year because he thought Alec needed to tone up. After Alec had been manipulated into having sex before he was ready with someone who would just break his heart. Aaron had been annoying more than anything lately, but Alec couldn’t turn off his feelings so easily. The truth was they had a lot of good and sweet memories that Alec would never forget even in the face of the manipulation and the cheating and the lying. 

“Alec?” Magnus was next to him and it was uncanny how Magnus always knew when he was upset in an instant. “Alec, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Alec lied numbly, trying to stop his heart from feeling everything this meant right now. The last year had been a complete lie and he had let Aaron take so much from him. He had ignored his family and his friends so many nights for someone who couldn’t care less about him in the end. 

“Alexander, don’t lie to me,” Magnus said lowly as he made Alec meet his gaze. How was he supposed to tell Magnus his world was falling apart when he had just lost his mom? This was so trivial compared to that and Alec felt so stupid to want to cry until he couldn’t anymore over some stupid boy that would never deserve it. 

“I can’t-” Alec knew the tears were on the brink of breaking free and he couldn’t talk about this.

“Mags, give him some space,’ Aline said, trying to avoid any mroe breakdowns than necessary. “Alec you should probably get the hell out of here for ai bit. In fact, both of you should. These people are just lingering for food and you are more than welcome to get out of here.”

“We don’t give each other space,” Magnus said firmly as he took Alec’s arms in his hands. “Alec, what’s going on?”

“We need to get out of here,” Alec agreed with Aline and took Magnus’s hand in his own. “I will tell you, but first we need to get the hell out of here.” The last thing he needed was some dramatic thing in front of his family. 

“Lightwood!” Peter had found them and he did look completely furious as he stormed into the hall towards them. “You fucking slut!”

“Watch your mouth!” Magnus snapped, the fire back in his eyes even amidst his pain. Alec felt a rush of affection towards him at how immediately and intensely Magnus defended him without question. 

“Lighwood, how the fuck could you screw my boyfriend?” Peter shouted at him as he got closer to where the trio stood frozen. “You have this sex god around your finger,” He nodded in Magnus’s direction. “Then you still have to go and screw around with Aaron!”

Alec wanted to get defensive, but somehow he felt like he was definitely in the wrong here somehow. 

“Funny how your boyfriend was so desperate for more that he had to get with a minor to get whatever you weren’t giving him,” Magnus said snidely. Aline looked extremely confused since he had left out most of the more gruesome details about his relationship whenever he would talk to her about them. 

“I wasn’t fucking talking to you!” Peter shouted at Magnus, fed up with his smart comments. 

“This is my mother’s funeral, so I guess that’s too bad for you,” Magnus said cooly and Alec had no idea how he was staying so calm when his own hands were shaking and he felt like he wanted to throw up. 

“I didn’t know Pete,” Alec said hoarsely with as much energy as he could muster. “I didn’t know he was seeing you.”

“Yeah right,” Peter sneered as he stalked closer. Magnus had a hand on his arm to either keep him calm or to be ready to throw him aside at the first sign of violence. “You want me for over a year and I won’t give you the time of day so you conveniently hook up with the guy I am with. Here I thought you were all innocent Lightwood, but it turns out you’re nothing but some dirty whore.”

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” His dad had heard the tail end of things and now Alec really was close to crying. This was a complete disaster.and the last thing he wanted was his family privy to this whole show as well. “That is my son you’re talking to so I’d watch what you say to him.”

“Dad, stay out of this,” Alec begged him, the first tears finally falling. 

“Take this up with your asshole boyfriend Aaron instead of Alec,’ Magnus told Peter as he took a step forward. “Leave him out of this. He is so much younger than either of you and Aaron has been playing him this entire time. He has been lying to the both of you. Are you too scared to actually confront-”

“Uh, I think I”m late,” Alec turned to see Aaron pulling up in his truck and he felt his knees start to wobble at seeing him after all that had happened. They had fought this morning and then all this stuff with Peter. He had given Aaron everything and he had gotten nothing in the end. He was some plaything to him and nothing more. 

“Can someone tell me when my mother’s funeral became an episode of Oprah?” Magnus asked loudly, irritated at both men who had showed up uninvited. 

“This is a private event and the both of you need to leave,” His father demanded and Alec had forgotten he had a front row seat to watching his life fall apart. He knew that nobody wanted to mess with his father and that he only had a moment to do what he should have done so long ago. He stormed over to Aaron and took one last look into his blue eyes before punching him as hard as he could straight in the nose. Aaron stumbled and Alec saw a flash of blood, but what he didn’t see coming was Peter’s fist coming from the side. He was dazed as he stumbled and fell to the ground, one hand holding his head and the other holding himself up. 

“Alec, Alec baby look at me,” HIs dad knelt next to him and at the first touch of his large hand on Alec’s back he burst into tears. It was like when he was small and skinned both his knees after he fell off his bike. He’d been just fine until someone had touched him and then he had ended up being carried home safe and sound. He dealt with things just fine until someone had to touch him in comfort and then he was a mess. He was folded into his father’s strong arms as he heard Aaron and Peter yelling before Magnus’s voice above them both calling the cops. He stayed in his father’s arms until it got quiet and he still didn’t want to move. 

“How’s your head love?” His dad asked gently in his ear as he rubbed his back softly.

“Hurts,” Alec muttered as he hiccuped over some last sobs that wanted to linger.

“God Alec, that was some blow to the head,” Magnus was on his other side with large, concerned eyes and didn’t bother to ask if he was okay as he pulled him into a hug.

“Get him home Magnus, please,” His dad asked as he stood up slowly. “I”ll get this place cleaned up and cleared out. You two need to go home to some peace and quiet.”

Alec let Magnus walk him home with an arm around his waist and he wondered what had happened to the simple days he had complained about not so long ago. The days when nothing exciting ever happened and he knew what each day would bring when he woke up. Back before his heart had been broken and he had never felt pain like this before. Why had he ever wished for more?

~~~~~

Well, getting your heart broken was a new experience that Alec never wanted to repeat. The worst part was that it wasn’t like being sick and you got to stay in bed all day and everyone took care of you. He stayed in bed with Magnus for exactly one day before his mother was at his door the next morning telling him the world was still turning and that they both had to face it. Magnus seemed to be doing better after a few weeks of staying with them and letting himself grieve. The funeral seemed to give him some kind of closure and he could move on somewhat. He didn’t wake up sobbing anymore at night, but that had turned into Alec’s job now. He couldn’t sleep alone now after a year of being in Aaron’s bed, making out or otherwise. He felt so stupid because everyone else was so damn happy that they had broken it off, but he was still miserable. He only cried at night now when the rest of the house and the town was asleep so nobody could judge him for missing Aaron fiercely. That boy had been his whole world, even if he’d been manipulated into it. 

After ten days of the habit where Alec would get up in the night to spend time alone to miss Aaron he was met by Magnus already waiting for him in his spot. Magnus silently opened his arms and Alec gave a sheepish smile as he crawled into them. 

“Why do you think I’d let you sit out here and cry alone?” Magnus asked him softly as he hugged him close

“I know you think it’s stupid that I miss him,” Alec said. “Everyone is so happy he’s gone and I know I should be. On some level I really am, but on so many weird levels I miss him so much and it hurts so badly.”

“Of course you miss him Alec, he was your boyfriend. You loved him.” Magnus rubbed his arm gently and Alec tried not to actually let any tears fall yet again. 

“I shouldn’t miss him,” Alec said firmly, trying to make himself believe it as well. “He was manipulative and he cheated on me. He made me do so many things I didn’t want to do. He is an awful person and I know better.”

“Alec, you think it’s that easy?” Magnus asked him as the moonlight surrounded them and the world was so silent it felt like nobody else existed in that moment. “We don’t always love the people we should, and sometimes we love the ones who hurt us the most. I loved my step-father for a long, long time even when he was awful to me. It took him putting me in a hospital bed for me to stop seeking his attention. Aaron was nice to you on many occasions, just as many as he was awful. It’s the reason I never did much about the two of you. I know you loved him.”

“He cheated on me,” Alec said miserably. “It was bad enough that he would treat me like shit and take me away from the people I loved. He also cheated on me with the fucking bakery boy.” He started to cry again as he thought about the whole awful situation. Magnus pulled him close and let him cry into his chest for as long as he needed to. When he ran out of tears to cry Magnus was right there still and Alec had never felt this loved. 

“I know it isn’t the same,” Magnus said quietly. “But I love you Alec.”

“I love you too Magnus,” Alec said and it felt like a confession of much more than just two friends on some front porch. His heart was breaking into pieces, but at least he had Magnus to juggle them until they fell back into place.


End file.
